She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
