im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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