Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
