i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
