oh god was she eating orange peels again
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
