If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
