in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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