Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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