Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
