I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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