It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.Â
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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