So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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