I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
