operation harelip BJ is a go
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
