When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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