i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
