Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
