sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
