it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
