oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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