Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
