I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize