You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize