East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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