I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I got inside last night via doggy door
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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