Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
