I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
