she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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