Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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