New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
