Can Purell be used as lube?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
