I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
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