My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
