She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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