im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
