Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
