ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Hippo gnu deer
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
