there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
