she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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