I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
