she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Dick very happy bro
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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