Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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