Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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