this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
