I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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