The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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