nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize