32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize