i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
