I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
