worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
