I swear god or herbie drove my car home
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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