this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
