I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
