1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
