I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
