no, he came in my armpit
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
